The Invincible One
by storeytime14
Summary: My imagine of what happened after the screen faded to black after the season finale! There's two parts to this! Enjoy! :)
1. Chapter 1

Out of all the kisses we've shared, it was by far my favorite. It was so gentle and sweet and _passionate. _Even when I'm 90 years old, I will never forget the look in Finn's eyes when he saw me for the first time because it was the first time I truly saw myself. Every part of me was exposed and vulnerable in front of this man who had my heart and soul in the palm of his hands. It was terrifying to think that at any moment he could drop them and my life would shatter to tiny pieces again, but when he looked at me, I knew there was no way he ever would.

I was so scared because I needed it to be more than it was with Liam. I can never change the fact that my literal first time was with someone who wouldn't let me take my clothes off or that it was with someone who was sweaty, and distant, and cold. It wasn't passionate or meaningful, and he definitely wasn't careful or gentle. I can never change the fact that I was just a replacement for his hand that night. But that doesn't mean I can't make my first time with Finn my emotional first time. The one that I'll remember for the rest of my life as being my _real _first time.

"Are you ready?" He asked, just barely above a whisper.

My words got lost somewhere between my brain and my lips and all I could manage was a slight but determined nod.

I've never felt as safe as I did being in his arms, like nothing in this world could touch me. And not once did he take his eye off mine. It felt as if he looked away, he would miss something that he wouldn't be able to get back. I felt like our souls were speaking a language only they could understand.

And then he said it. No, still not I love you, even better.

"Rae."

He wasn't trying to be seductive or sultry. He was just letting me know he was there with me, 100 percent. It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. It danced in the air to the music our bodies were making and landed ever so delicately on my heart.

That one sound, that tiny one syllable word and my life was changed forever.

I was only ever living with my head barely above water and in that one fleeting moment, he reached in and pulled me out of the water that I'd been drowning in for so long.

This man loved me for all that I was and all that I wasn't and for the first time in my life, I felt like the invincible one.


	2. Chapter 2

Our bodies were still a mess of tangled limbs as the rain continued to slosh against the windows. I was exhausted but I needed this moment to last forever. Finn was gently stroking my hair as he hummed to the music coming from the radio we turned on after we made love for the second time.

Why did I let it happen? How did I ever allow myself to be intimate with Liam when I could have had this all along? Why did I think Finn and I would be better off without each other?

But it did happen and there was nothing I could change about it. Liam. Ugh. His name tasted like gasoline in my mouth now. Should I tell Finn everything that happened? Would he be angry? Would he not want to be with me anymore? Don't be daft, of course he would, and I wanted to start our relationship over on a solid foundation of honesty.

As if on cue, the radio DJ put "Honesty" by Bill Joel on.

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking joking…"

"Well, you know he's not my favorite but I wouldn't say he's terrible," Finn laughed.

"No, it's not that…"

"…Okay," he joked.

Well if the radio gods wanted to play, I could play.

"Uh, Finn?"

"Yeah."

"I need to tell you something."

"What's up?"

"I, um, I need to tell you why I broke up with you. And, also, about what happened with Liam."

I could feel him tense next to me at the sound of Liam's name.

"You really don't have to. That's in the past…"

"No, I know. I want to, though. We need to talk about a lot of things and I want us to start over again being completely honest with each other because I wasn't honest with you before. About how I was doing or about what was going on with me… I need you to know. I'm just scared that once you know, you'll look at me different."

"Rae, there is nothing you could ever say to me that would make me look at you different."

I knew he meant it, but there was still that panic I always felt right before I opened up. But I counted to ten, took a deep breath and started with the first crack in the glass.

"I'll guess it all started when Tixy died." I don't think it will ever get easy to say that. With the confused look on Finn's face I continued. "Tix was my best mate in hospital. She was just one of those people you could tell anything to and you know she wouldn't look at you any different, kind of you like you." I gave him a little shove to which he gave a small smile.

"We used to sit in the bathroom stalls for hours just chatting away about nothing and everything all at once. She was this tiny little thing with the biggest heart. She was in hospital for anorexia. She didn't like people touching her or watching her eat, and I felt… I don't know… Honored that I was one of the few people who she would let do both. She trusted me and I trusted her and we made each other stronger… But then I left. And things slowly started to change. Every time I went back for my sessions, we'd still have our conversations in the toilets, but, I don't know… I had the gang then and I started to forget about her…"

There was a golf ball sized lump in my throat at this point and I didn't know if I could finish the story without breaking down. As if he read my mind, Finn squeezed my hand and lifted my chin so I could see him. His face was filled with so much admiration that it gave me the courage to go on.

"We were supposed to have dinner together one night. This extravagant meal Kester had planned for the two of us and I forgot all about it to go to that fucking rave!" The tears were falling freely at this point and I just let them. Finn didn't try to stop me, and he didn't try to wipe them away, and I felt so grateful that he knew me well enough to know I needed to keep going or I would never finish.

"That night… She, uh, she collapsed from overexertion. She was in the ICU in a medically induced coma for about three days before her heart stopped beating all together."

Finn shudder a breath next to me, but I couldn't bear looking at him. Not yet.

"I never knew pain like that existed. It was as if someone took my heart out of my body, rain it over with a car and then put it in a blender. I was broken. And I was so angry. At myself. At Tix. At everything and I couldn't see a way out. It's my fault she's gone…"

"Rae," Finn croaked as he swallowed the lump in his own throat. "It's not your fault. There's nothing you could've done."

"Why does everyone always say that…"

"Because it's the truth. You just don't want to believe it because it's easier to blame yourself. But you shouldn't. I get the impression that Tix would have understood about missing the dinner and she would have asked you how the rave went and you would've said it was shit because the man of your dreams stupidly kissed your best mate after he watched the girl of his dreams kiss his gay best mate."

And with that we were both laughing stupidly at each other as we remembered how moronic we were that night.

"You're pretty good at that, ya know?"

"At what?"

"Saving me."

"I don't know about that. I think you're pretty good at saving yourself."

He kissed my lips softly, wrapped his arms around me and brought me to his chest. I loved listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It was in sync with mine and it was then I finally understood what all those sappy love songs were trying to say.

"I ran away from you that first day at college because I couldn't handle all the people looking at us," I offered after a few minutes of silence. "I was about to have a panic attack and I needed to get away as soon as possible so people wouldn't realize I was mental. And that's how I met Liam. Well, kind of. He was standing outside the fire exit but I guess I really didn't meet him until group."

"Group?"

"Uh, yeah, he's in therapy with me. Turns out he's proper messed up, himself."

I looked at the dawning comprehension on Finn's face. He finally understood everything that had happened over the past few months.

"_That's_ why you couldn't tell Amy about the two of you! Sorry… I'm jumping the gun. Continue."

"No, no. It's fine. That's exactly why I couldn't tell Amy how we met because he didn't want anyone to know. I guess that should have been my first indicator that he wasn't the best. He'd rather me get beat up by his psycho girlfriend than be honest with her about who he really is."

"Prick."

"Finnley…" I flashed him a cheeky smile.

"Sorry."

"You asked me the day after my mum's wedding if I was alright, when we were talking about me being in hospital, remember?"

"Sure I do."

"And I said I was better…"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I wasn't. Not really. And then you and I started going out and I was so happy. Honestly, Finn, I was. But I couldn't escape the fact that people would look at us wherever we went. I was embarrassed for you to be seen with me. I didn't want you to have to go through any criticism for being with me. And I wanted to end it before you resented me for the hate you were getting…"

There was fire in Finn's eyes I've never seen before. He wasn't angry at me, he was angry at the world.

"I could _never _resent you, Rae. And I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm with you, for you. Not the rest of the world. I told you before that it's my decision who I have feelings for and fuck the rest of the world if they can't understand that."

"I know, but you have to understand, I was in a really dark place and I just couldn't see that. No matter how many times you told me that or how many times you tried to prove it to me, I would never understand why until I believed it myself. And I do now. I do."

I watched as the fire in his eyes started to fade to the warm chocolate color that I fell in love.

"Anyways, I guess I was sort of drawn to Liam at first because he was like me: Mental, funny, big. We kind of just clicked. And it was nice to have someone who understood what being in therapy was like. I was not dealing with Tixy's death. At all. I wouldn't speak to Kester about her. I wouldn't allow myself to think about her. And I guess I kind of put Liam on this pedestal as being my Tix replacement, which I knew he could never be, but having him around took my mind off her."

Finn was nodding his understanding.

"And then I was with him one day when he had a panic attack. I was able to help him calm down, which was a really proud moment for me because I can barely calm myself down when I have one. And then… Uh… He kissed me."

I nervously looked at him, but there was no trace of anger or judgment on his face. He was just intently listening to my story, trying to understand.

"And then after that we didn't talk about it… Until you started dating Olivia."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it looked like you had moved on and I figured I probably should, too. And since I couldn't take my clothes off in front of you, I thought it would easier to take them off in front of someone who looked like me…"

I could tell that he was genuinely hurt at the thought that I couldn't take my clothes off in front of him. It had nothing to do with Liam and all do with him thinking I didn't trust him enough, like he did something to lose that trust. I could see his mind flashing back to the love caravan and even to earlier tonight when I took his hands off my robe.

"Was it?" He asked so sincerely that my heart ached.

"No. He wouldn't let me take my clothes off. I'm not exactly an oil painting, as he so bluntly pointed out."

He shot up so fast that I fell off his chest. The fire was back.

"He what?! Who the fuck does he think he is?!"

He was up and pacing now.

"That's bullshit. Has he ever seen an oil painting, the prick? If I ever see that twat again I'll paint him a fucking picture with his own blood."

"Finn! Calm down! It's okay! It hurt, I'm not going to lie, but it was also what I needed to hear from him to know that he's not what I need. I need people in my life who build me up and not tear me down. People like you and the gang. People I love and I trust."

He stopped pacing but he was still shaking.

"Fucking prick." He huffed.

"Yeah, you're right, he is a prick. But he's a prick who's not worth you getting so worked up over."

Finn did a little dance to cast away the last traces of his anger, crawled back into bed, grabbed my face and kissed me so fervently that I saw stars.

"I'm sorry you weren't my first time."

"Rae, I don't care that I wasn't your first time. I wouldn't have cared if I was fifth, tenth, or hundredth, as long as I'm your present, and as long as you're comfortable. That's all I care about."

"You are my present." I answered with another kiss.

You're also my future.


End file.
